There are all kinds of traditions. There are cultural traditions, religious traditions and family traditions to name a few. Often, the holidays are a time steeped in tradition. Maybe they are
carried on from our childhood or new ones we have created as we travel through
our own lives. Sometimes we miss traditions that meant a lot to us, but have somehow faded
away with the circumstances and people that surrounded them.
I have always been a sentimental person. And, I have always had an interest in words and
expression. For me, putting words down on paper makes them immortal...things
that can be read and felt for lifetimes to come.
So when my kids were young, I started the tradition of a Christmas journal. I purchased a
beautiful blank hardcover book and every year during Christmas week, I brought the journal with
me as we celebrated Christmas and New Years with my parents, siblings and their families. I insisted every family member who was present write in the journal. They could write whatever they wanted; what was going on in their lives that year, what they were looking forward to in the year to come or simply what they got for Christmas. In the first few years, I was met with resistance from various family members, but I was relentless. I stored it away with my Christmas decorations so that I wouldn’t forget it each holiday season. After a few years of keeping the journal, everyone was used to having it passed around. My nieces and nephews who were teenagers when I started would get a kick out of what they had written in previous years. The entries matured with the authors. They may have started as “I heard Santa last night” to “I am embarking to college life this year and I can’t wait to see where that journey takes me”. Some were funny, like my oldest brother who signed each of his entries with “ the oldest and wisest of the family”. Some were serious, like my parents who always wrote about the love they felt seeing their children and grandchildren all together. My own kid’s comments were so cute as their first entries were at ages when they were just learning to write.
As the years rolled by, my life took many turns and many changes were made along the way.
The holidays changed along the way. The extended family celebrations morphed as well, as my
siblings families both expanded and shrunk. I became a single parent with two small kids and
sharing them at the holidays became my new normal. The Christmas journal became a casualty
of this new normal. I guess ultimately I felt that this tradition could not continue because so
many of the players had changed...and the holidays just weren’t the same.
Recently, I came across the journal in my nightstand drawer. Opening it immediately became such an
emotional experience for me. The thing that struck me the most was to see my dad’s
handwriting and to read his lengthy entries. Over the years, he wrote about how grateful he was to experience another Christmas and how much joy he felt seeing his children and grandchildren
all together. And he always signed it “grandpa”.
I hadn’t seen my father’s handwriting in years. He passed away in 2011, several years after I tucked this journal away. Having his thoughts on paper and knowing he held that journal as he wrote made me wish I had more entries to read. As I absorbed what he said, it reminded me of how valuable certain traditions truly are. His entries always had a consistent message; how important it was to have family together, and how appreciative we should be for each and every day. He stated that he not only loved his family- he liked each of us, too, and how he prayed for us all daily. To have these thoughts from my father in black and white on the pages before me was an invaluable treasure.
I realized then that I made a mistake in not continuing with the journal. Traditions don’t have to
die just because life as you knew it did. They can continue on to encompass new people in our lives and new situations. They don't need to be packed away because they don't seem to fit anymore- they can morph into extensions of your old traditions.
I have decided to buy a brand new book and resurrect the Christmas journal this year. There will
be some people sadly missing and there will hopefully be some new additions.
I have since remarried. In addition to my children, I have a terrific bonus son and a few more great extended family members. Those teenagers that once signed that book are now adults- some with spouses and children of their own. And, my brother- the oldest and wisest of the family- is now the one known as grandpa.
I want this tradition to continue because one day- I want my grandchildren and their children to have a priceless piece of family history to hold, laugh at, cry over and cherish.
Sometimes traditions just need to be tweaked.
