As with most kids, birthdays were a huge deal for mine. Both
their dad and I had large extended families and so their birthdays were like
their own personal holidays. I loved lavishing the attention on them and making
their days special. But at the same time, I wanted them to be aware that their
sibling may feel left out and they needed to be considerate of that.
From when they were very young, I started the tradition of
having them buy a gift for their brother/sister when it was their own birthday.
They carefully chose something special and presented it to their sibling before
any festivities could start in celebration of them.
They carried this tradition through many years, even into
early adulthood. I believe that instilling this awareness in them at a young age played a
huge role in their relationship today. At 23 and 21, they are able to enjoy the
blessings of having a sibling and continue to have great love, respect and empathy
for one another.
One Christmas a few years back, I wanted to gift something
small to my co-workers. It was a small office, but I still needed something
that wouldn’t break the bank. I decided on some homemade treats with a $1 scratch off lottery
ticket attached. The evening of our gift
exchange, I got a call from one of my co-workers. She wanted to thank me for
the ticket. It seemed she herself, in the true spirit of giving, had donated
money that she really couldn’t afford to donate. When she scratched off the
lottery ticket, though, she won the exact amount it would take to replace the
funds.
My father often told a story about his brother who suffered
from alcoholism. At one point in my uncle's struggles, he was on a retreat in a
convent when he went to pray. He spotted several nuns saying their daily
devotions. He decided that instead of
petitioning for himself that day, he would ask God that the nuns' prayers be
answered. As they were all walking out of church together they struck up a
conversation. My uncle told the nuns that he had been praying for them…that he
petitioned for their prayers to be answered. The nuns simply smiled and said to him,
“we were praying for you”. Eventually, he was able to control his alcoholism
and went on to counsel others with the same disease.
My kids learned empathy for others early on, starting with their relationship with one another. They were
rewarded by sharing a bond and love that has transcended into
their adult years. My co-worker extended
herself to someone in need creating a deficit for herself that she wasn’t quite sure
she could manage. Her return came back to her in the exact amount needed to
replenish her budget. And, in the moment
my uncle shifted the focus of his prayers onto others, he unknowingly
deflected that grace right back unto himself.
Put others first and the blessings will surely follow.
